December 31, 2008
(Excerpted From Cultivating An Unshakable Character)
For a leader, honesty and integrity are absolutely essential to survival. A lot of business people don’t realize how closely they’re being watched by their subordinates. Remember when you were a kid in grammar school, how you used to sit there staring at your teacher all day? By the end of the school year, you could do a perfect imitation of all your teacher’s mannerisms. You were aware of the slightest nuances in your teacher’s voice - all the little clues that distinguished levels of meaning, that told you the difference between bluff and “now I mean business”.
And you were able to do that after eight or nine months of observation. Suppose you had five or 10 years. Do you think there would have been anything about your teacher you didn’t know?
Now fast forward and use that analogy as a manager. Do you think there’s anything your people don’t know about you right this minute? If you haven’t been totally aboveboard and honest with them, do you really think you’ve gotten away with it? Not too likely. But if you’ve been led to believe that you’ve gotten away with it, there might be a good probability that people are afraid of you, and that’s a problem in its own right.
But there is another side of this coin. In any organization, people want to believe in their leaders. If you give them reason to trust you, they’re not going to go looking for reasons to think otherwise, and they’ll be just as perceptive about your positive qualities as they are about the negative ones.
A situation that happened some years ago at a company in the Midwest illustrates this perfectly. The wife of a new employee experienced complications in the delivery of a baby. There was a medical bill of more than $10,000, and the health insurance company didn’t want to cover it. The employee hadn’t been on the payroll long enough, the pregnancy was a preexisting condition, etc,etc,..
In any case, the employee was desperate. He approached the company CEO and asked him to talk to the insurance people. The CEO agreed, and the next thing the employee knew, the bill was gone and the charges were rescinded. Then he told some colleagues about the way the CEO had so readily used his influence with the insurance company, they just shook their heads and smiled. The CEO had paid the bill out of his own pocket, and everybody knew it, no matter how quietly it had been done.
Now an act of dishonesty can’t be hidden either, and it will instantly undermine the authority of a leader. But an act of integrity and kindness like the example above is just as obvious to all concerned. When you’re in a leadership position, you have the choice of how you will be seen, but you Will be seen one way or the other, make no mistake about it.
One of the most challenging areas of leadership is your family. Leadership of a family demands even higher standards of honesty and integrity, and the stakes are higher too. You can replace disgruntled employees and start over. You can even get a new job for yourself, if it comes to that. But your family can’t be shuffled like a deck of cards. If you haven’t noticed, kids are great moral philosophers, especially as they get into adolescence. They’re determined to discover and expose any kind of hypocrisy, phoniness, or lack of integrity on the part of authority figures, and if we’re parents, that means us. It’s frightening how unforgiving kids can be about this, but it really isn’t a conscious decision on their part; it’s just a necessary phase of growing up.
They’re testing everything, especially their parents.
As a person of integrity yourself, you’ll find it easy to teach integrity to your kids, and they in turn will find it easy to accept you as a teacher. This is a great opportunity and also a supreme responsibility, because kids simply must be taught to tell the truth: to mean what they say and to say what they mean.
“Praise is one the world’s most effective teaching and leadership tools. Criticism and blame, even if deserved, are counter productive unless all other approaches have failed.”
Now for the other side of the equation, we all know people who have gotten ahead as a result of dishonest or unethical behavior. When you’re a kid, you might naively think that never happens, but when you get older, you realize that it does. Then you think you’ve really wised up. But that’s not the real end of it. When you get older, you see the long-term consequences of dishonest gain, and you realize that in the end it doesn’t pay.
“Hope of dishonest gain is the beginning of loss”. I don’t think that old saying refers to loss of money. I think it actually means loss of self-respect. You can have all the material things in the world, but if you’ve lost respect for yourself, what do you really have? The only way to ever attain success and enjoy it is to achieve it honestly with pride in what you’ve done.
This isn’t just a sermon, it’s very practical advice. Not only can you take it to heart - you can take it to the bank.
To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
To order Jim’s best selling CD series Cultivating an Unshakable Character (6 CD’s) from our Inventory Blowout Product Special, go to http://jr3.jimrohn.com
Reproduced with permission from Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine.
Copyright 2005 Jim Rohn International. All rights reserved
worldwide. To subscribe to Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine, go to
http://Jim-Rohn.InspiresYOU.com
December 30, 2008
As with any field, there are good technical training schools, and bad ones. When you sign up with one of these schools, you’ve made a significant investment in time and money. You deserve to know everything about the school and your job prospects after leaving that school before you put down your hard-earned money. The problem is, sometimes it’s hard to know the right questions to ask.
The point of this article is not to bash technical training schools. That’s how I got my start in IT eight years ago, and today I’m a CCIE and own my own Cisco training company and my own consulting firm.
Before I ever put down the first dime, though, I asked some tough questions. So should you.
What are my true job prospects and legitimate salary levels after I graduate from your school?
We’ve all heard the ads on the radio… “Did you know the average salary of an MCSE is $80,000?” “Are you worth $65,000 a year? If not, call us!”
I’m an optimist, and I often tell people that no field rewards individual achievement and drive like IT does. Having said that, none of us start at the top, and darn few of us start at that kind of salary.
I’m sure that there are some people who broke in at $80,000, but I haven’t met very many of them. Be very wary of technical schools that use the famous/infamous MCSE Salary Survey as a marketing tool. They tend to represent those salaries as starting salaries.
Ask your technical school what the average starting salary of their graduates is. And keep in mind that salary is not the most important factor to consider when looking for your first job in IT; it’s the experience you’ll be able to put on your resume later on that you should weigh heavily at this point.
In short, be very careful about schools that brag about starting salaries. It’s not where you start, it’s where you end up.
How up-to-date are the courses you’re offering?
Make sure the school you’re going to attend has made efforts to keep their courses relevant. Ask what changes have been made to their curriculum in the last three years. No field changes faster than IT. If the answer to that question is “none”, look somewhere else.
I want to work in IT security. Have you placed anyone in this field lately? If so, can I talk to them?
Technical schools are jumping on the security bandwagon, with a couple of schools running ads about training you to work in Homeland Security. If that’s your goal, that’s great, but keep in mind that you have to get a security clearance for any job like that.
And how do you get a security clearance? You have to be sponsored.
And who will sponsor you? Your employer.
Can you get employed in a Homeland Security job without having the clearance in the first place?
Hmmm. Probably not.
Hello, Catch-22.
Again, I’m certainly not saying you can’t eventually get an IT security job; if that’s where you want to go, you can eventually get there. The key word there is “eventually”. Ask the school you’re thinking of attending whether they’ve actually been able to place graduates in such jobs. Ask to talk to them. If the school’s managed to do so, they’ll be glad to put you in touch with such graduates.
What textbooks does your school use?
Some technical school chains use only books that someone in their organization wrote. I’ve heard some of their own teachers complain about the quality of these books. The technical school I attended used off-the-shelf books, and the quality was very good.
If you’re looking into entering the IT field, you probably know someone who’s already in it. Use that resource for everything it’s worth. Ask that person what they think about the books, or for that matter, what the local reputation of the school is. IT is a small world, if the school has a good or bad reputation, most of the IT personnel in your city or town probably know about it.
The fifth question is a question to ask of HR representatives. Every technical school lists companies where they’ve placed their graduates on their promotional material. Pick up the phone, call these companies, and ask to speak to someone in HR. Ask that person about the reputation of the school. Five to eight phone calls will give you a good picture of where the school stands with local employers.
Making the decision to attend a technical school can be the best decision you’ve ever made; it certainly was for me. Make sure to ask the right questions before writing a check or taking a loan to attend; the answers to those questions will indicate to you whether this school is truly the school that can help you achieve your dreams.
Chris Bryant, CCIE #12933, is the owner of The Bryant Advantage, home of free CCNA and CCNP tutorials, The Ultimate CCNA Study Package, and Ultimate CCNP Study Packages.
For a FREE copy of his latest e-books, “How To Pass The CCNA” and “How To Pass The CCNP”, visit the website and download your free copies. You can also get FREE CCNA and CCNP exam questions every day! Pass the CCNA exam with The Bryant Advantage!
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@ 7:23 pm
December 29, 2008
If I heard it once I’ve heard it a million times and this week was no exception. In fact, the words have carelessly tumbled from my lips on many occasions, some of which have been perilously near the conclusion of my sermons. Most preachers never conclude their sermons, they just quit when they cannot indulge the congregation another minute longer.
Someone once asked a famous preacher what it meant when he said, “Now, in conclusion …” He thought for a moment and then replied, “nothing.”
Preachers are not the only ones inflicted with this verbosity virus. Watching a news broadcast lately, I heard a politician tumble headlong into the same abyss; “We’re going to make some changes around here,” he proclaimed, “and that’s my final word on the subject.”
It doesn’t really matter which politician pontificated thusly, for all of them have said it at one time or another and usually it is never their “final word” on any subject.
Several things are wrong with that statement.
First, when a politician uses the word “we’re” he never means to include himself. It’s just a word he uses to confuse the subject at hand. Someone once made this observation, “if all the politicians were laid end to end I would not be surprised.”
Secondly, the only change most politicians are interested in is the change in my pocket. They have committees devoted to figuring out how they can change the change in my pocket to their pockets. The slickness to which they do this is most remarkable.
Thirdly, there is no such thing as a “final word” among politicians. Every politician insists on having the last word on any subject even though he knows nothing about the subject at hand.
The entire political sorority has one brain, which they share. The Democrats have the left side, the Republicans have the right side and they have one intent; mouth in motion at all times. When a politician has nothing to say you can be sure he will say it most profusely.
Every politician has two sides, before election and after election. What a politician says before being elected has absolutely no relationship with what he or she will say after election. The only thing absolutely certain is the newly-elected politician will have a lot to say, but not much.
Once elected their only strategy is to stay elected. They will do everything and anything to get my vote. I vote they all be elec-tro-cuted. Nothing would be cuter.
One thing that can be said about the political institution in our country, it is an equal opportunity liars club. Women have as much opportunity to join this truth-challenged extravaganza as the men.
I don’t know who makes better liars, men or women. The feminine side of this auspicious group has made miraculous progress in catching up to their male counterparts. They both seemed quite adept to the practice.
Many elected officials go to great lengths to keep their constituency from knowing where they stand on the issues. They are seated on committees so they don’t have to reveal where they stand. They are good at sitting and pontificating but bad when it comes to standing for anything, which makes them believe their constituency will fall for anything. And we usually do.
The lawmakers of our day are great “change agents,” to use a contemporary phrase. Their opinion on important issues changes with every new poll published. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your point of view, for our friendly politicians, opinion polls can be given every hour on the hour.
And of course, the more important the issue the more the politician reforms his opinion. A politician should have the cleanest mind in our country because they change it so much. Unfortunately, the exchange is usually down.
Perhaps the best final words any politician could utter are, “I won’t run again.” Usually when a politician says this, it means he’s currently running from something or someone.
Regrettably, the only change that comes with a new election is the name on the office door of the public servant.
The bolts and nuts of our political system can be boiled down to; the politicians bolt for or from any excuse and we are nuts for electing them to any office.
I sometimes get weary of all this superfluous change. It is true, the more things change the more they remain the same. What I want to change never does and what I don’t want to change does.
You can imagine what comfort I get from the Bible that never changes despite the efforts of some people. Two verses are particularly comforting to me.
One from the Old Testament: “For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.” (Malachi 3:6 KJV.)
One from the New Testament: “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8 KJV.)
When it comes to final words, I want that word to come from someone who will not capriciously change that word and upset my life. I can always trust Jesus Christ to give me a word I can always count on.
The Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Contact him by calling 687-4240. His e-mail address is jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is”
http://www.whatafellowship.com
The Reverend James L. Snyder is an award winning author whose writings have appeared in more than eighty periodicals including GUIDEPOSTS. In Pursuit of God: The Life of A. W. Tozer, Snyder’s first book, won the Reader’s Choice Award in 1992 by Christianity Today. Snyder has authored 8 books altogether.
Rev. James L. Snyder has a knack for making fun of daily frustrations and will increase the humor aptitude of your readers so they too can discover that life is less stressful when you’re laughing. Through these essays, your readers will realize that humor and religion belong together and can keep them from taking themselves and others too seriously.
CCNA and CCNP candidates hear it all the time: “you have to get some hands-on experience to pass the exams”.
Candidates tend to think that’s just so they can solve the simulator problems, but that’s only the more obvious reason.
First, I want to make it clear that I’m not bashing learning from books you have to learn theory before you can really know what’s going on in the first place. The key is that to truly understand routing and switching processes, you’ve got to have that hands-on experience.
So if the simulator questions are the more obvious reason to get hands-on experience, what are the less obvious reasons?
Glad you asked!
You see what happens when things don’t go according to the script. One of the biggest problems with learning your skills on software programs such as “router simulators” is that with simulators, things go pretty much as planned.
I have news for you: that doesn’t always happen in the real world. While Cisco routers and switches are highly reliable devices, every once in a while you’re going to get an unexpected result from a command. Maybe it didn’t work after you typed it in maybe it has an effect on your prior configuration that you didn’t expect. Maybe you don’t know what happened - you just typed in that command and the router went nuts!
Sooner or later, that’s going to happen to you in the real world. And as I tell my students, it’s actually a good thing to have happen to you in a lab.
You don’t learn to troubleshoot or fine-tune a configuration when everything works perfectly. You don’t learn much at all when things go perfectly. And you’re practicing to learn!
I often say that great chefs don’t learn to cook on cooking simulators they learn in the kitchen, and they burn a lot of meals on the way to greatness. You need to screw up some configs on the way to greatness, and you can’t do that on a computer program. You have to be on the real thing.
You build confidence by working with real Cisco routers and switches. Would you want the Super Bowl to be the first football game you ever really played in? Of course not. Then why would you take router configuration exams and be nervous about having to create a VLAN, or troubleshoot an OSPF configuration?
You cannot walk into the testing room a nervous wreck. You must have the attitude that you are already a CCNA or CCNP, and you’re just there to make it official. I can tell you from firsthand experience with many students that the way you develop than confidence is to work with the real deal.
You can’t buy that confidence, and you can’t simulate your way to it. You’ve got to work with real Cisco routers and switches. By working with the real equipment, you develop the real skills and real confidence you need to pass the CCNA and CCNP exams.
Chris Bryant, CCIE #12933, is the owner of The Bryant Advantage (www.thebryantadvantage.com), home of free CCNA and CCNP tutorials, The Ultimate CCNA Study Package, and Ultimate CCNP Study Packages. Video courses and training, binary and subnetting help, and corporate training are also available.
For a FREE copy of his latest e-books, “How To Pass The CCNA” or “How To Pass The CCNP”, send a request to chris@thebryantadvantage.com today !
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@ 4:56 am
December 28, 2008
Voice over Internet Protocol, or VoIP, uses your broadband internet connection to place phone calls. By converting your voice (or analog) signal into a digital signal, this makes for a more efficient way to talk on the phone and can save you money.
There are three ways you can use VoIP. You can either connect using your regular phone and an adapter, a special internet phone, or download software and use your computer. Here are the methods, in greater detail:
Using your home phone. If you would like to switch from your regular phone line to VoIP, many people opt to continue using their home phone. To do this, you must use an analog telephone adapter, or ATA. This device converts the analog signal (your voice) to a digital signal. Once the signal is converted, it goes through the internet connection. When shopping for a service provider, ask them if they include this adapter with their packages. Most do.
Connect using an IP phone. When using a special IP phone, you don’t need a separate ATA. Everything you need to use your broadband internet connection as your telephone service is included with the hardware. Instead of using a regular phone jack and connector, it uses an Ethernet connection to plug into your router.
Connect using your computer. If your computer has speakers, microphone, a sound card, and a high speed internet connection you can use your computer for VoIP. Companies offer free or low cost software downloads which allows you to use your computer to make phone calls. Using this method is either free, costing only the price of your internet connection, or nearly free. Earthlink’s Vling software is both free to download and free to use. The only hitch is that you can only talk with other Vling users.
Mike Bell is the webmaster of http://www.VoIP-Journal.com, a site devoted to providing users with VoIP news and information.
December 27, 2008
With the claims way of life growing all throughout the world, having public liability cover is developing into being ever more and more important. If you don’t presently have professionally indemnity insurance included into your building cover, then now is the right time to look at acquiring improved insurance. Here is some info about why you require insurance, and what to watch out for. Protect your against claims with professional indemnity insurance from Insured Risks.
What is public liability insurance: Public Liability insurance is an insurance agreement that shields you from claims that 3rd party’s may possibly make against you in the probability of an accident. If somebody damages their belongings or hurts themselves in or around your property or business then the professional indemnity insurance will shield you for any fees that could happen. Cover typically ranges from two hundred and fifty pounds up to one million pounds.
What are you protected against: Insurance will insure you for accidents or loss that other people could experience in or around your house or business premises. You are covered from claims from robbers as well as injury that could occur to any person from falling items or employees carrying out maintenance. If an accident arises on your grounds and somebody claims against you, your insurance contract will help out to pay any fees.
What’s included A few contents or property insurance documents include in-built liability insurance. You would be advised to check with your insurance firm whether this is the case, and if so what extent of cover you get. Even if the insurance is included, you need to check that you are precisely protected for any type of accidents that may perhaps happen.
Premiums: The premiums that you are expected to have to pay depend on the level of cover you get. If you simply insure your house, then the premiums are very likely to be less than if you are wanting to cover a business. Nonetheless, payments are pretty cheap inexpensive the level of cover that you receive & it is as a result critical for any individual running a company.
December 26, 2008
“When attack becomes dance, everything is seen as a gift of energy.”
That sounds great, doesn’t it?
Couldn’t we all use a little more energy from time to time? I know I could. Right now, for instance, as I sit with a blanket over my shoulders, sipping lemon tea and hoping that the next coughing spasm is not as ferocious as the last two, I could use a gift of energy. The tickle that started in my nose and chest a few days ago has blossomed into a full-blown, body-wracking cold, complete with chills and fever.
The martial art Aikido (The Way of Harmony) teaches us to see everything that comes our way as energy to be danced with. By centering and extending our ki (life energy) we connect and blend with the energy of attack, making it a part of us. We redirect it from center, keeping ourselves and our attacker safe from harm.
How this elegant metaphor applies to situations in our personal and professional lives is a continuing source of study and fascination for me. One of the ways I work at integrating Aiki principles into my life is by sharing the philosophy with others. My workshops use physical exercises which help our bodies remember how to do things like center, extend, acknowledge and blend. We begin to dance, flow and move with the energy of conflict instead of blocking it.
So I sit, wondering how I can dance with this attack. Even centering doesn’t stop the incessant coughing. I have no ki to extend (it seems to have retreated to the innermost recesses of my system). The only thing I can think to do is to acknowledge and embrace.
But that, at least, is a beginning. In years past, I would not acknowledge being sick. When I was sick, I’d often go to work anyway. I plowed through what needed doing with half a spirit and wore myself out. I probably infected half a dozen others in the process. I was sometimes ill-tempered, depressed and depressing to be around. If I can’t acknowledge what’s going on, whether it’s a cold or a problem at home, I surely can’t embrace it. By this I mean make it a part of me, connect with it so that I can begin to look for solutions.
Most of our conflicts, internal or external, would resolve themselves if we would only take this first step - acknowledge them! But because we see them as negative, we immediately resist by fighting or fleeing. If I can see what comes my way as energy, with no positive or negative charge other than what I give it, I can be more curious about it. As unwanted as it may be, there’s definitely more power in dancing with it than in resisting it.
As for my cold, I’m still trying to learn if there’s a gift here somewhere. Let’s see - I’ve already read a book I’ve been putting aside for months, started another, and gotten some much needed rest (in between coughs!). I may not always know what the energy offers, but when I can ask the question “Where’s the gift?” I’ve taken a step in a new direction.
© 2005 Judy Ringer, Power & Presence Training
About the Author: Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a more positive work environment. Judy is also a black belt in aikido, and is writing her first book on the connection between aikido, conflict, and living a more purposeful life. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit www.JudyRinger.com
Note: You’re welcome to reprint this article as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the ‘about the author’ info at the end).
December 25, 2008
Viral Marketing Defined
It is allowing others to giveaway and use your free product or service in order to multiply your marketing quickly over the internet. The idea behind viral marketing is that you include your ad with the freebie people giveaway or use.
But to become successful, you must totally understand the concept in order to get the most out of it.
Brand your web site, business and yourself by submitting articles to e-zines. You could include your name, business name, your credentials, web site address and e-mail address in
your resource box. An example of a resource box is -
jerry durham lonestar enterprises - opportunity to succeed
http://www.freewebs.com/opportunity_to_succeed/
5705 marvin loving dr suite 202
garland, tx 75043
You could include something like the above at the end of each of your articles, specifing, that the resource box, as it is known, would stay with the article in the event it was used
as copy in a ezine, ebook, etc.
Understand and know, or better yet, become known as an expert on the topics you write about. This will give you and your business extra credibility which will help you compete against
your competition. Face it, if you don’t know what you’re talking about. it will become very well known around the net, spreading like a “VIRUS”. You’ll gain people’s trust. If they
read your article, like it, and they believe you, they won’t be as hesitant to buy your product or service. You will then be able to increase your profits.
Having your article placed on a publishers home page or archives will give you extra exposure. Future subscribers might want to read the back copies before they subscribe. I have several articles in archive, one of which is -
http://www.archives.zinester.com/5997/17517.html
Submiting your article to a publisher that has a free content directory on their web site, allows visitors to republish your article. Some sites are below -
http://www.cashflowseller.com/ArticleSubmit.html
http://article-emporium.com/submit-article.cfm
http://www.allfreelancework.com/submitarticles.php
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All the Best…
About the Author:
Jerry durham has been in business as “OPPORTUNTIY TO SUCCEED” since the fall of 2003. We offer ideas you need to start, manage & grow your online business! We also offer strategies,
downloads, & articles written by professionals.
Jerry Durham Lonestar Enterprises - Opportunity To Succeed
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Garland, TX 75043
“OPPORTUNITY TO SUCCEED NEWSLETTER”
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December 24, 2008
The Federal Communications Commission’s Broadcast Flag mandate is set to come in to force on 1st July, if legal challenges fail to stop it. The Broadcast Flag will place severe restrictions on consumers’ ability to view HDTV content in the way that suits them and it will stop you from recording some HDTV programs altogether.
The Broadcast Flag rule will make it illegal for anyone to ship any device capable of demodulating HDTV signals unless it listens for and respects the flag inserted into broadcasts by copyright holders. This flag is a digital rights management tool which tells HDTV receivers what they can and can’t do with the signal. So for example, it will no longer be possible to burn recorded HDTV programs to DVD, or edit out the bits of a program you don’t want. Nor will it be possible to stream HDTV signals around your house on your existing network.
Many of the features of VCRs and DVD recorders that we now take for granted will be unavailable under the Broadcast Flag mandate.
The good news is that if you buy an HDTV receiver before 1st July, it need not listen for or respect the flag after July 1st and you’ll be able to carry on recording or streaming HDTV. And there are plenty of groups and individuals opposed to the Broadcast Flag who will attempt to have it delayed or cancelled. These groups include the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which believes that the principle of Fair Use, which says that individuals should be free to decide how and when they watch content for which they have paid, should apply to HDTV.
About the Author
Kenny Hemphill is the editor and publisher of The HDTV Tuner, a site aimed at providing consumers with accurate, timely, and easy to understand information about HDTV.
Comments OffFiled under: Uncategorized
@ 3:46 am
December 23, 2008
Car buying is full of fact and fiction. This article may not help, but at least you’ll laugh about it.
Note: Aaron Spetner is neither an automobile salesman, nor a professional attorney, and can therefore be trusted with (but not held accountable for) any advice he may appear to be giving in this column.
For the past few weeks now, I have been looking to buy a car. Buying a car is not an easy task. It is not like, for example, grocery shopping, where you just walk through the store with a shopping list given to you by whomever conned you into going shopping. No, car shopping is different, for several reasons. Firstly, you have no list when you go car shopping; you just know you want a car. Secondly, when you walk into a car dealership, you are greeted by a salesman who will let you test-drive different vehicles. When you go grocery shopping, you cannot taste all the avocados until you find one that you like. At least not where I shop - they get mad. Also, you do not usually see used food for sale - that is disgusting.
In my long search for a suitable automobile, I have employed the knowledge of several friends. After speaking to all of them several times, I started to finally begin to grasp a very basic knowledge of automobiles (the first thing I learned was that nobody calls them “automobiles” anymore). I learned that besides figuring out the manufacturer and model of the car you want, you must also select a style. Car styles are extremely descriptive, usually looking something like “LI” or “CX” or “DPX iE 27FE” (this last one is obviously very nice, judging by the lowercase letter “i”). Once you decided which set of letters will look best next to the model name on the back of your car, you must also figure out whether you want a 4-door (”sedan”) , a 2-door (”coupe”), or a 7-door (”croule` du be` tomre`” or in English, “croule` of the be` tomre`”). When you have all this figured out, you are ready to call a dealer.
In order to find out as much information as possible over the phone, I suggest that you call no less than two dealerships, and speak to at least one of each of the following types of salesmen. The first type of person is a foreigner, whom you must ask to repeat every third sentence. This is helpful, because no matter what he says, you are inclined to call the second guy. This guy will most likely be (if you called the same people I did) a fast talking, reassuring type of fellow, who will never let you be wrong, yet he will still blatantly contradict you.
After speaking to these salesmen, and hearing what type of prices they are offering, you will most likely discover that the right car for you is a stolen one. You see, stealing a car costs considerably less than making one, thereby leaving more room for markup, yet still keeping a much lower retail price. The drawback is, you can’t just walk into a dealership and exclaim, “I’d like to buy a stolen car.” No, you must whisper it into the ear of the manager who will then politely exclaim that he sincerely hopes you are joking, and if not, he will have you arrested. You see, that’s another thing about stolen vehicles - they are pretty illegal. You don’t want to just walk around informing strangers of your criminal objectives.
Now before you get turned off from buying a stolen vehicle, let me explain some of the benefits of such action. First of all, you will not be involved in as many accidents. The reason for this is, if you are involved in an accident, you will probably be caught and arrested for possession of a stolen vehicle. Such knowledge will make you into a safer and better driver. Second, you will not have to spring for car insurance, simply because stolen vehicles cannot be easily insured.
You are probably wondering, “Wow, Aaron! You have really balanced the scale. How do I decide whether or not to get a stolen car?” Well, that really all depends. You see, if you really are wondering this, you have a brain made out of cheesecake, and should probably not be allowed near any car of any type. Any normal person who is reading this will tell you that buying a stolen car is the only way to go. So go ahead, steal a car. Or, if you are scared, buy a stolen one. But do not support those filthy, greedy, businessmen who want to sell cars the legal way. If you do, you are just giving in to anarchy.
About the Author
Aaron currently works as a software/web developer and writes in his free time. He also runs a growing web-based discussion forum at http://www.chitchatforums.com. His personal work is on display at http://www.spetnik.com.
Comments OffFiled under: Uncategorized
@ 12:40 pm